[ He didn't think it was possible for this guy to get even more irritating or ridiculous than he already was, but apparently Ren seemed to be on a mission to prove otherwise. Hux can't help the unimpressed look on his face, lips pursing ever so slightly as he resists the urge to sneer.]
You sound stupid when you make assumptions like that, perhaps you should think before you open your mouth. [ Pot meet kettle....] And no, I just came over to buy a banana muffin.
[ Funny, Ren was thinking much the same thing as he finished the order, plucking one of the lids from the pile in the corner. ]
We're all out of banana. [ -- well, no, that wasn't strictly true. There was at least one other one but that was set aside for a much needed lunch break and like hell was he going to be turning it over to this asshole. ]
So what you are saying is that you have sold out of banana muffins before lunchtime?
[ Hux raises his eyebrows, wondering if Ren is actually being serious or not. Were they truly out of banana muffins? Really? Hux debates arguing it further or not before opting to take the high road on it all.]
It says a lot as to the kind of operation you're running here. What muffins do you have?
[ Baked french toast sounded like it could be an almost acceptable flavor of muffin, Hux feeling his nose wrinkling at Zucchini-Apple. Who the hell ordered those? He can't help but silently mouth the words monkey bread though, wondering if Ren has lost his mind or something.]
Now the mystery on why your banana muffins sold out is solved. Do they even sell or are you trying to get rid of old stock?
[ It wasn't an unreasonable assumption to make considering, and probably wasn't helped by the fact that the muffins in question looked like something a Tellytubby might've made and covered in an array of colors that looked almost cartoonishly bright.
This being said you're really starting to tick him off, Hux. ]
Muffin's are made fresh every day. [ Not going to rise to the bait, not going to rise to the bait. ] And lunchtime's our busiest time.
[ The Zucchini-Apple's never been much of a seller, though. He's not really sure how that happened much less why they still sell it. Optimism, maybe? ]
[ It seemed like Ren wasn't spoiling for as much as a fight as he had been earlier and Hux isn't sure if that's a good thing or not. Whatever it is, it's enough to have his shoulders loosening by a fraction as he huffs out a breath.
God damn he was going to have to settle for some bizarre fucking muffin flavor. The french toast sounded normal enough, but Hux suspects it'll be sweet as anything. Which meant — ]
[ He's just gathering his reserves since this is far from over, he can just tell. Something about the way that Hux seems to snap even tighter, lips curling around the word like it's managed to personally offend him. ]
Sure thing. [ Personally, he hopes that it tastes every bit as much like the road gravel it reminds him of.
Selecting a muffin with an exaggerated care - it's not too big, not too small, and looks about as inviting as a zucchini-apple muffin can manage to be, which isn't very - he slides it across to Hux: ]
[ Hux is pretty sure he just hallucinated that price tag. Almost nine dollars for a muffin? Was it made from crystal and gold? What in the hell? This time Hux knows he's being punked and his gaze flicks a few times between the monstrosity on the counter to the guy who just served it.
The ginger blinks slowly, frowning slightly as if he's trying to figure out some difficult puzzle. This time there's no queue behind him to hold up and Hux is already making a note to stand his ground on this one.]
Are you even being serious right now? I can buy zucchini and apples for a quarter of that price.
[ Most expensive muffin ever. Right now though, that muffin is almost symbolic. If he lets Ren take the muffin back it would be akin to admitting defeat. At the same time, that's one dammed expensive muffin. Hux gives an even stare back, ignoring how his brain points out that this guy has the longest eyelashes.]
Excuse me, I didn't say I wasn't buying it. Or are you trying to insinuate I can't afford things? [ Hux reaches into a back pocket, pulling out a handful of items (a ten pack of smokes, mints, wallet) before he extracts a bill and puts it on the counter.] There's ten dollars. Sure you can count to get the change right or would you like a helping hand on that one?
Ren reaches over, sliding the note back toward him, pauses: ]
You know what [ he smiles the most pleasant of smiles as he pushes back from the register, tossing a towel over his shoulder. ] I'll get my calculator.
[ Hux reaches for the muffin, expression cold enough it just about lowers the temperature of the southern seaboard. No fucking way was he going to let this guy win anything.
In hindsight, Hux would realize how stupid it all was before telling himself he was completely in the right.]
[ There is a brief, tense moment where Ren considers - with far too much seriousness - just simply tossing caution and commonsense to the wind and hurling himself across the counter at Hux, fist swinging.
Then he lets out a breath, reaching up to rub at the bridge of his nose as he feels the beginnings of a promising headache stirring. ]
[ Hux sees that motion, the way Ren seems to be trying to ward off a headache and briefly Hux wonders if that last comment was too far. The coffee shop itself was perfectly fine it was just this asshole at the counter that was the pain. Hux hesitates, almost opens his mouth to say something normal, then lets his own brand of common sense to kick back in.
[ Bitten-off and resigned, perhaps even a little disgusted with himself for being so thoroughly - and easily - bested.
His hand drops back to his side, gaze lifting, and it's probably just as well that Hux is putting some kind of distance between them because the irritation is settling into a low simmer that could easily turn volatile.
He counts to ten then slowly blows out a breath. And then, after a moment, he does it again. ] Just great.
[ This day could not end fast enough, his fingers already itching for a smoke and perhaps something a little heavier to take the edge off.
Dragging his tongue across his teeth, he turns away, hoping to find something to occupy himself that would at least keep his hands busy. ]
[ There it was, a small signal of defeat uttered in a single syllable word. No more witty, arsey comebacks, this war was well and truly won. Hux just isn't sure why it isn't sitting completely right with him. He should be turning his nose up and giving a rare smirk as he basked in it. But no, all the ginger manages is to make sure he has the muffin in hand as he gives Ren an unreadable stare, turning slowly to head back to his table.
In theory he should be leaving to go to work; his coffee is in a takeout cup. But then again it is overtime and something Hux knows he can do by remoting in from his tablet. It isn't difficult to convince himself at any rate, making sure to sit down at his table in the corner and start tapping away at the tablet like it was no big deal.
Hux notes, with some bemusement, that the coffee is fine and the muffin actually tastes good. Dammit. Every so often Hux will peer over at the counter, frowning slightly as if contemplating before clicking his tongue, huffing and going back to his work. Whatever.]
[ It was pure coincidence that the task Ren settled on to clear his head and keep himself busy happened to be cleaning.
Pure coincidence that, wheeling out the vacuum-cleaner, because their carpets had been getting a little dusty and it was either that or wait for Finn - or, god forbid, Poe - to do it, that he decided that the corner in most need of his attention also happened to be the one that Hux had chosen to hole himself up in.
Elbowing aside an errant chair, Ren stoops over, slotting the plug into the outlet with a satisfying click. ]
Sorry about the noise.
[ Is the only warning he's getting as Ren straightens himself and hitting the power, the machine roaring to life. ]
[ For a brief moment, Hux is absorbed in his work, just about hypnotized as he flicks through the documentation of a more recent case. Apparently it was a victorious one, but Hux is more interested to see how Mitaka managed it than anything else. It's only when Ren starts his way over with a vacuum of all things that Hux glances over, blinking slowly before focusing on his phone.
Naturally he has to text Phasma about this bullshit, it's just that annoying. Hux doesn't get too far into his spiel when suddenly Ren is apologizing and he looks over just in time to see the vacuum switching on, wrinkling his nose at how loud it is. It's like the cursed appliance was designed to make a noise that pinged his headache with loud fanfare, enough so that Hux rubs his face with one hand. Ugh.]
A better man might feel bad about this, or at the very least question the need to push this as far as it has already gotten. But right now, in this moment, the vacuum humming with barely concealed violence before him, nothing is further from his mind.
Game, set, match motherfucker. Enjoy your muffin. ]
Then obviously you must find it difficult to tell the time and spell, considering that most cleaning is done before the store opens.
[ There's an irate, pointed glare before Hux goes back to his tablet, resting his forehead against one hand as he tries to focus on work. Except the sound of the vacuum is like nails down a chalkboard, enough to have Hux gritting his teeth and trying to get through it without storming out — that would be like quitting.]
Are you always such an asshole or only to those who point out to you what a shitshow you're running?
[ He holds a hand up to his ear as if to further emphasize the fact that he can't hear what's being said -- nothing pleasant judging, when he flicks a glance Hux's way, by that lip curl.
In all seriousness, though, he was going to need to have a word with Rey. If this is what he could expect from doing his cousin a favour -- on his day off, no less -- then he might have to seriously reconsider answering his phone the next time it flashed her number. ]
It'd better be fucking urgent. [ This is muttered under his breath, the next drive forward particularly aggressive. ]
[ Hux stares, realizing that nothing he has even said has gotten through to this guy. He may be annoyed beyond reasonable doubt, but Hux can recognize the universal motion of I can't hear you. What an asshole.]
You're the absolute worst.
[ He'll lean back in his chair and cross his ankles as he drinks his coffee, constantly glaring in Ren's direction with an irate green gaze. His work is temporarily forgotten in the meantime and it's only when he reaches the bottom of his coffee cup that Hux even notices he's distracted by this jerk.
Whatever. There are better things he could be doing than giving someone the evils and Hux makes sure to clear his table before heading out, also leaving a tip just to fuck with the guy. He has work to do though the majority of it will be spent bitching with Phasma over the barista at the coffee shop.
Hux isn't intending on coming back. Except he'll be back the very next day.]
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You sound stupid when you make assumptions like that, perhaps you should think before you open your mouth. [ Pot meet kettle....] And no, I just came over to buy a banana muffin.
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We're all out of banana. [ -- well, no, that wasn't strictly true. There was at least one other one but that was set aside for a much needed lunch break and like hell was he going to be turning it over to this asshole. ]
Sorry.
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[ Hux raises his eyebrows, wondering if Ren is actually being serious or not. Were they truly out of banana muffins? Really? Hux debates arguing it further or not before opting to take the high road on it all.]
It says a lot as to the kind of operation you're running here. What muffins do you have?
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[ He glances toward the display, gaze lingering for the briefest of moments, before flicking back to Hux. ]
Whole Wheat Carrot Cake, Baked French Toast, Zucchini-Apple and [ --another quick glance, brows furrowing. ] Monkey Bread.
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Now the mystery on why your banana muffins sold out is solved. Do they even sell or are you trying to get rid of old stock?
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This being said you're really starting to tick him off, Hux. ]
Muffin's are made fresh every day. [ Not going to rise to the bait, not going to rise to the bait. ] And lunchtime's our busiest time.
[ The Zucchini-Apple's never been much of a seller, though. He's not really sure how that happened much less why they still sell it. Optimism, maybe? ]
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God damn he was going to have to settle for some bizarre fucking muffin flavor. The french toast sounded normal enough, but Hux suspects it'll be sweet as anything. Which meant — ]
Fine. I'll take a zucchini-apple muffin.
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Sure thing. [ Personally, he hopes that it tastes every bit as much like the road gravel it reminds him of.
Selecting a muffin with an exaggerated care - it's not too big, not too small, and looks about as inviting as a zucchini-apple muffin can manage to be, which isn't very - he slides it across to Hux: ]
That'll be $8.95.
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[ Hux is pretty sure he just hallucinated that price tag. Almost nine dollars for a muffin? Was it made from crystal and gold? What in the hell? This time Hux knows he's being punked and his gaze flicks a few times between the monstrosity on the counter to the guy who just served it.
The ginger blinks slowly, frowning slightly as if he's trying to figure out some difficult puzzle. This time there's no queue behind him to hold up and Hux is already making a note to stand his ground on this one.]
Are you even being serious right now? I can buy zucchini and apples for a quarter of that price.
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Yes I'm being serious. It's a hundred percent organic, gluten-free, and made with fresh ingredients.
This isn't Starbucks.
[ Though if he didn't want it, Ren'd happily take it back, was already reaching for it in fact. ]
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Excuse me, I didn't say I wasn't buying it. Or are you trying to insinuate I can't afford things? [ Hux reaches into a back pocket, pulling out a handful of items (a ten pack of smokes, mints, wallet) before he extracts a bill and puts it on the counter.] There's ten dollars. Sure you can count to get the change right or would you like a helping hand on that one?
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Ren reaches over, sliding the note back toward him, pauses: ]
You know what [ he smiles the most pleasant of smiles as he pushes back from the register, tossing a towel over his shoulder. ] I'll get my calculator.
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It's certainly not working or humorous in any shape or form yet Hux can't help but fold his arms, eyes glinting with some amusement.]
Tell you what, don't you worry yourself over such a trivial matter. It's merely a dollar five cents anyway, so go ahead and keep the change.
[ Most expensive muffin ever by this point, but Hux is willing to pay it if it means getting one over this cretin.]
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I'd hate for you to feel cheated.
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[ Hux reaches for the muffin, expression cold enough it just about lowers the temperature of the southern seaboard. No fucking way was he going to let this guy win anything.
In hindsight, Hux would realize how stupid it all was before telling himself he was completely in the right.]
Besides, I felt that walking in here.
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Then he lets out a breath, reaching up to rub at the bridge of his nose as he feels the beginnings of a promising headache stirring. ]
We done here?
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This guy had started it. No sympathy.]
We're done. I have work to do.
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[ Bitten-off and resigned, perhaps even a little disgusted with himself for being so thoroughly - and easily - bested.
His hand drops back to his side, gaze lifting, and it's probably just as well that Hux is putting some kind of distance between them because the irritation is settling into a low simmer that could easily turn volatile.
He counts to ten then slowly blows out a breath. And then, after a moment, he does it again. ] Just great.
[ This day could not end fast enough, his fingers already itching for a smoke and perhaps something a little heavier to take the edge off.
Dragging his tongue across his teeth, he turns away, hoping to find something to occupy himself that would at least keep his hands busy. ]
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In theory he should be leaving to go to work; his coffee is in a takeout cup. But then again it is overtime and something Hux knows he can do by remoting in from his tablet. It isn't difficult to convince himself at any rate, making sure to sit down at his table in the corner and start tapping away at the tablet like it was no big deal.
Hux notes, with some bemusement, that the coffee is fine and the muffin actually tastes good. Dammit. Every so often Hux will peer over at the counter, frowning slightly as if contemplating before clicking his tongue, huffing and going back to his work. Whatever.]
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Pure coincidence that, wheeling out the vacuum-cleaner, because their carpets had been getting a little dusty and it was either that or wait for Finn - or, god forbid, Poe - to do it, that he decided that the corner in most need of his attention also happened to be the one that Hux had chosen to hole himself up in.
Elbowing aside an errant chair, Ren stoops over, slotting the plug into the outlet with a satisfying click. ]
Sorry about the noise.
[ Is the only warning he's getting as Ren straightens himself and hitting the power, the machine roaring to life. ]
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Naturally he has to text Phasma about this bullshit, it's just that annoying. Hux doesn't get too far into his spiel when suddenly Ren is apologizing and he looks over just in time to see the vacuum switching on, wrinkling his nose at how loud it is. It's like the cursed appliance was designed to make a noise that pinged his headache with loud fanfare, enough so that Hux rubs his face with one hand. Ugh.]
Can't it wait?
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[ A blatant, bald-faced lie.
A better man might feel bad about this, or at the very least question the need to push this as far as it has already gotten. But right now, in this moment, the vacuum humming with barely concealed violence before him, nothing is further from his mind.
Game, set, match motherfucker. Enjoy your muffin. ]
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[ There's an irate, pointed glare before Hux goes back to his tablet, resting his forehead against one hand as he tries to focus on work. Except the sound of the vacuum is like nails down a chalkboard, enough to have Hux gritting his teeth and trying to get through it without storming out — that would be like quitting.]
Are you always such an asshole or only to those who point out to you what a shitshow you're running?
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In all seriousness, though, he was going to need to have a word with Rey. If this is what he could expect from doing his cousin a favour -- on his day off, no less -- then he might have to seriously reconsider answering his phone the next time it flashed her number. ]
It'd better be fucking urgent. [ This is muttered under his breath, the next drive forward particularly aggressive. ]
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You're the absolute worst.
[ He'll lean back in his chair and cross his ankles as he drinks his coffee, constantly glaring in Ren's direction with an irate green gaze. His work is temporarily forgotten in the meantime and it's only when he reaches the bottom of his coffee cup that Hux even notices he's distracted by this jerk.
Whatever. There are better things he could be doing than giving someone the evils and Hux makes sure to clear his table before heading out, also leaving a tip just to fuck with the guy. He has work to do though the majority of it will be spent bitching with Phasma over the barista at the coffee shop.
Hux isn't intending on coming back. Except he'll be back the very next day.]
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